Back to School

First day of 4th grade, fall 2020, Sioux Falls

Two years ago, we were getting ready for Briella to go to middle school. Her anxiety was high and just continued to increase as the fall went on. This truly was the beginning of our journey with DIPG yet at the time we had no clue. Briella didn’t like change, yet she had encountered much change in the last few years, moving to a new home, new school, new friends, brothers moving off to college, being the only one at home with mom and dad and now middle school. It probably felt somewhat normal for her to be anxious with school starting, each fall always brought some anxiety. She did what she had learned to do…be brave even when there was anxiety. She was one of the bravest kids I know. I remember her first day of school in Sioux Falls. It was the fall after the COVID outbreak. Parents were not allowed to walk their children into the school. We walked her to the front door. That morning, we went over the school map many times and we prayed for her day before we left the house. She only knew one person at the school and this friend was not in Briella’s class. She walked into the school without complaining. She had on her brave face. I was so proud of her. I knew that day must have been very hard for her. Much later when this day came up in conversations, I let her know how proud I was of her and how brave she was. She let me know that she was not brave at all. At some point in the day, she ended up in the bathroom crying. In her mind brave people did not cry. We talked about how being brave doesn’t mean that you are not scared but that you step into it anyway.

This is how we stepped into our DIPG journey. We were scared. We didn’t know what to do and yet we kept taking the next step. God was our strength just as He had been Briella’s strength that first day of school in Sioux Falls. Many people said we were so strong. I did not feel strong. I was just trusting God. He had shown me He was good in the past and that He didn’t change. I just clung to God because that was all I knew to do.

Spiritual muscle memory. When things got hard, my spiritual muscles just took over and did what they had practiced doing. I kept seeking God, spending time in the Bible and praying, depending on Him for strength and direction. I had learned this over the many years of practicing the spiritual disciplines. I was not strong at all, but God was my strength. He helped me do things that previously I could not have imagined doing. I had supernatural strength.

Supernatural strength or supernatural peace only come from the Holy Spirit living in us and this happens when we become CHILDREN OF GOD. Briella knew she was a Child of God, and she walked her DIPG journey with supernatural strength and peace. She walked everyday with supernatural love for others also. This continued through her whole 12-week journey with DIPG. Because Briella was a child of God, she was filled with the fruit of the spirit…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. When her gymnastics coach shared at her celebration of life, she shared these verses in Galatians 5:22-23. She said these verses embodied all of whom Briella was. That was because Briella was a child of God.

One of Briella's drawings from her sketchbook.

Being brave, having strength and having peace can at times seem out of our reach, and without God they are. Yet with God all things are possible. I am so thankful that I am a child of God and He does the supernatural in me.

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